Slobs: tackle that combination panel tomorrow and I guarantee a better quality of life will ensue.. But cleansing, moisturising, lip balms, aromatherapies and even eyebrow trims: these are not about hiding flaws, but enhancing life. They make you feel better about yourself, like choosing to enjoy good food and drink instead of thinking of food as fuel. I agree that toupees are problematic and that Grecian 2000 is nearly always a mistake. Women prefer clean men, as long as they are not over-narcissistic and on occasion, have dirty thoughts.Certainly, some aspects of male vanity are risible, and are nearly always about the pathos of concealment. These are the details that can make the difference between wanting to kiss someone or not They are akin to visual bad breath.There remains a paradox. Some people – often female, oddly enough – say it is sexy for a woman to be interested in her appearance, but not a man.

Men, or “hommes” as we are generally called in the gunk trade, should not care about our appearances. Or should not be seen to care; my guess is that most women would rather wake up to someone who has their seborrhoea under control, and has changed their briefs in the last decade We should throw this Rasputin complex out. And why not? One day, we will look back on our former indifference to appearance as a corruption of masculine identity that did us no favours.The joke is now on those who remain unconcerned about their appearance – for they are the ones who tend to bear those unsightly little details like plaque build-up, broken capillaries, flaky skin around the eyes, visibly waxy earholes, loose bits of nasal hair, blackheads, whiteheads and open pores leaking grease like Mazola. The puritanical disdain for appearance that held sway for many years in straight-male body culture is, happily, in retreat. Is it that hetero-geezer is more in touch with his feminine side, or less anxious about his inner homosexual? I think the explanation could be more prosaic: that the manufacturers have found a new gravy train, and men are jumping on board. At best a lard-like smear of E45 was allowed, and even that had to be connected with some manly endeavour like a motorbike ride in the rain.

Lip salve and eye gel – you kept those firmly behind closed doors Deodorant was dodgy. Even contact lenses, which I wore as a short- sighted young man, were considered unbloke-like.
Of course, beauty products market an unbelievable raft of old cobblers: all that AHA, age-defying, free-radical phoney science. But it is a human need to renew oneself using the various agents of exfoliation, deodorisation, clarification and so on. Lotions and potions have been rediscovered as the font that reconstituted that long lost archetype, the male peacock.Helped along by sporting role models, it is common even among the most antediluvian corners of male society to scuff, floss, buff and bathe before heading out for a night on the lager and curry. If I had money now, I would go travelling and expand my mind That’s what it’s all about – life experiences.”. AT LAST men are discovering the joys of vanity.